The Myth of “work” Life Balance
The idea of work-life balance seems to come up pretty regularly. During the shift to remote work during the height of COVID, it was hotly debated. It is even a surface level concept of the popular Apple TV show “Severance”, however exploring the depth of different allegories in that show will take too much time. Even now, there is still plenty of discussion around this idea, what it genuinely means and how companies should look to embrace it for employee’s benefit.
The concept though, is somewhat of a myth.
We have this idea that work, leisure and restoration must be in a constant state of harmony. Nothing can exceed the other, that the mixture of each one has to be equal to the other parts. The sanctity of our “down time” must remain untouched by the ever mounting requirements of our work. The scales have to remain in a precarious balance, never tipping too much in any direction. It causes plenty of internal consternation however. The thought that these two ideas will need to be forever in sync, and it is only a single scale we need to worry about.
The deeper you look, the more you see this isn’t the case. That is because there is more to this balancing act than we think. Life is not simply leisure, or restoration. There is so much more to our lives than needing some time for “self-care” or relaxation. The idea that this is all we need to maintain balance. Likewise, work isn’t simply our 9-5 or whatever our professional role is, and that nothing outside of or job is work. Thinking these two ideas are all we will need to balance leads to more issues than it has the potential to fix. We need to rethink the idea of “work”, as well as the idea of “balance”, in order to find what it is we are really looking for.
Work Outside of “Work”
We lump all aspects of or professional lives, our jobs and all that goes with it into a single word. Work. We associate everything with this word to the aforementioned concepts and not much else. Work then becomes this one entity we need to find a perpetual balance with. Anything outside of this, then becomes our life itself. However, work is much more than what we do for a paycheck. Even when you look it up, the definition of work’s first entry is “an activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result” and the second is “a task or tasks to be undertaken; something a person or thing has to do.” It can be easy to attribute this directly to our jobs, as we do those to achieve a paycheck purpose. And granted, Merriam Webster has the professional sense of the word listed first. However, work can encompass so much more, and is why we don’t need to balance work with life.
That is because our lives are filled with work.
There are an unlimited number of tasks—or activities— that require or effort to complete, both physical and mental. These tasks range in necessity, time, effort, and complexity. For instance, if we are doing a home improvement project, it will take a significant amount of work, especially when done ourselves. Planning and budgeting take some serious mental effort, before the physical work even begins. Even if we are taking classes, maybe to get an advanced degree or just to learn pottery, it is something we need to do and an achievement we are working towards. Be it an MBA, or finely crafted vase. Both of those accomplishments require work.
Work is a part of our lives outside of our jobs. If we set out to achieve something, regardless of what it is, it will have tasks that need to be undertaken and effort to complete it. We’ll need to put in work to get that degree, to complete that house project, or finish that vase. We can’t achieve anything without work. The satisfaction we derive from our achievement comes from the work itself, rather than simply the final accomplishment. We can’t look for just “work-life” balance, because life will always include work outside of the realm of our job.
Forget “Balance”
The imagery is of the single scale, with two sides, in near perfect balance. That they never tip one way or the other too much. And even if they do, the goal is always to return to that perfect balance. However as we know, there aren’t just two sides to this scale. Life itself encompasses more than just leisure, and that work extends far beyond our professional role. The balancing act becomes increasingly complicated as we realize life has much more to it, and the work seems to creep into the time we want to allocate for that restoration. We find that the time we try to spend “relaxing”, we are riddled with anxiety for all the other things we should—or need— to be doing. Rather than trying to constantly balance the different areas of our life, we need to embrace the idea of imbalance.
It comes down to prioritization, and the fact that there will be tasks that take precedent over all others for periods of time. Some of them can be predictable and we can plan accordingly. Others may spring up unexpectedly, and all of effort to complete a task goes elsewhere. Those proverbial scales will tip exceedingly to one area in our life while we work to get something done. This means other aspects of our life, such as relaxation or even our jobs, won’t get the same prioritization. There will be an imbalance, because that is what will be necessary in order to accomplish whatever work we deem as most important in order to accomplish something.
If we set out to do that house project, we may plan our weekends around getting the bulk of the work done. That means hammering away at raw materials instead of the relaxation we usually associate with our Saturdays and Sundays. Even then, we might still need to take some afternoons to head to the hardware store to grab a few items, rather than staying logged into our jobs later. Here we shift the imbalance of our time to getting this project done. Likewise, we can be taking those pottery classes every Tuesday night at 6 pm. So we need to plan our schedules around this, so we can allocate the right work to completing that vase. We disregard other less important things those nights in order to get our hands in some clay. There might be “open studio” hours that we can go in to give a little extra work to make sure it gets fired and glazed just the way we want. Our priorities can take sudden shifts too. Like if our child is home sick, all those other tasks get put on immediate hold while we work to take care of what ails them. Those job emails take a bit longer to get to, and the house project tasks sit idle for a bit. Only once they are feeling better, we come back to the other areas of work to achieve what we set out to do.
There will be priorities of work that take precedence over others. The bottom of the list may be tasks we never even get to complete. Trying to prioritize all work, giving everything the same amount of attention in the name of “balance”, makes nothing a true priority. Our work gets spread too thin, and nothing gets accomplished with the tasks remaining in a state of half-done. Our mental state even more degraded by the thought of all the things we need to do, but unable to seemingly do anything. The idea of balance doing less for us than it is intended to.
Embracing The Imbalance
When we forgo the idea of “balance” we take back control over being able to define for ourselves what genuinely matters. What work is a true priority for ourselves and what we will need to do about it. Understanding that other areas of our life, other work, will need to take a back seat while we put in effort to accomplish something else. Embracing this imbalance will enable us to actually get things done.
It is important to remember, this imbalance isn’t permanent. It won’t last forever, and the imbalance can shift too. Once we accomplish the task we set out to do, we won’t need to put the most focus and energy on that task because the work is done. The imbalance will only last for a certain period of time, and shift on its completion. Even in regards to our leisure and restoration activities, it will have an imbalance. There will be circumstances where we will need to prioritize our well-being—mental and physical—above all other tasks. Even then, it could take effort to accomplish it. Clearing our scheduling, ensuring no other tasks will bother us, and an action itself to achieve feeling restored. Going for a leisurely walk in the woods or even drawing a nice bath for ourselves is just another type of work, with the end achievement to better our mental or physical health. The imbalance is working on our well-being, and all other tasks fall lower on the priorities of work list. Just like before, this imbalance isn’t permanent. We’ll finish that walk or drain the tub, having accomplished what we set out to do, and soon the imbalance will shift again.
The imbalance will always be there, and even different at certain times of day. We need to make a decision and choose, what is worth putting the time and effort towards. What is the true priority to work on, and what else can be left for another time. Seeking to perfectly “balance” everything results in a lack of accomplishment and feelings of frustration. Like we never really get anything done at all. Rather, if we embrace the imbalance, we will find out we are able to do more. We will actually accomplish more, and with that achievement find a sense of fulfillment in the work we did. Marveling at our finished house project, or perfectly fired vase.
There are ways to enrich our lives immensely with this idea.
